Headquarters for the Slender Fungus Cycling Association

Headquarters for the Slender Fungus Cycling Association
Brewers of Hardy Rides.

Friday, May 2, 2014

Trans Iowa V10, 2014 Part 1

Well, this is going to be tough to put into words since it turned out to be one of the greatest Trans Iowas of all time. We had spent all winter training with The Blue Demon, Jakey la Cruz, Agatha and Dave on some pretty harsh conditions. I think the winter this year was brutal and it really took a toll on any long mileage that we had planned. However, we got out there and did our work. Slow but steady we had gotten into pretty good shape. Some longer rides happened towards the end of March and beginning of April. Our bikes were tuned, stradegy worked out and we finally loaded the cars and headed to the Godly state of Iowa. We met up at my old house in Sycamore and Gypsy Caravaned out there. There were a few Green Bikes to make sure the Slender Fungus was present. 
The meat up went well. We met up with old and new friends and stuffed our bellies with as many calories as possible. We hit up the Wally-mart for any possible last minute items. Charlie Farrow was stopped by a self Checkout and waited to be rescued by a clerk. She later told him to go back where he came from. I really think she believed me when I told her Charlie lived in a Cave. Boy did we laugh about that. 
Race day came quick and we rolled down to the start. Gumby on his Fargo, Bonk King on his Pugsley and the rest of us on our T.I. bikes. 
Shortly after the start at mile 7 my Trans Iowa V10 ended. My injury that I obtained on March 23rd flared up. With a knot in my throat I told Agatha I was turning around. The Red blinkies quickly dissapeared and I felt I was left in a cosmic void. I put on my mp3 player and relaxed making back to the hotel. I slept for quite a while until my friends came to take me out for food. 
I spent the rest of TI as a spectator as I watched from the "other" side. I spent a lot of time in the Barn. Got a chance to talk to Rob, whose family allowed us to use the Barn as a finish. Late at night TJ and I were informed that a big detour had happened. GT was stuck out in the fields making sure the riders would see the changes. He needed to be relieved. So we hopped on Gumby's Durango with Bonk King, TJ and I. We drove for what seemed eternity. 
On a very, very long stretch of road we spotted what we were sure was a bike light. Indeed it was Gerald, from Germany, throwing in the towel and trying to get back to Grinnell. We took him in and told him a big storm was coming Iowa style. He rode with us and we chatted and cracked jokes. He was cold and tired but was happy to hang out with the American weirdos. 
We met up with GT after TJ could not find the right intersection. We went down some steep dirt roads into darkness that I thought would swallow us. 
I was relieved to find GT. He was standing on a corner in the middle of God's Country. Lightning was all around him and it was a very surreal image. Lightning bolts were coming down vertically, horizontally and in different colors probably due to the dust in the air. What a crazy freak show! TJ and Bonk King manned the corner and GT, Gerald and I packed into the Truck with no name. WE drove back to Grinnell to drop Gerald off. I had intended to also go back to the hotel to sleep. But my adrenaline was on overload and I stayed with GT. We headed over to the barn but everyone was passed out. We started backtracking to find the leaders. In the meantime the lightning was making short moments feel like daylight. I wondered how frightnend the riders would be. I wished they would all be safe. I worried about Agatha, Jakey, Derek and Jay. 
We finally intersected Gleason, the leader, and he looked strong and focused. Derek,Troy Krause, La Cava and company were behind for many miles. I was happy to see Derek in his robot mode,in shorts just pounding against the wind. He seemed super-human and his legs looked Huge. 
We got done with that part and came back to the barn. 
More tomorrow. Sorry for the large print. Eyes not so good this morning. 
Gotta go make the doughnuts!

Green bikes loaded. 

L to R. Dave,Gravel Jesus,Giggles,Blue Demon, Agatha,Ari,Gumby,Bonk King
on ground Jakey La Cruz. Invisible TJ taking the picture

Gumby's Durango

GT and volunteers checking in riders

Strong Slender Fungus presence

Super fans and volunteers Gumby, Tj and bonk king

Bike setup for TI. 

Jay and Giggles pre race early saturday morning

Race morning 

Jakey la Cruz and Agatha  


Guitar Ted said...

Great report, (so far!), and I hope you can find the time and energy to finish the report. I saw some of the rest with my own two eyes and I know it is gonna be awesome!

You guys did have a time finding me out there, didn't you? I bet Gerald was freaking out!

Anonymous said...

Really like the looks of that Selma with mary bars on picture no 3. Would like to build a similar bike (don't like drops) for gravel riding. Can I have a bit more info about it?