Guitar Ted Death Ride Invitational ride Report. July 14th, 2013

First of all I would like to thank Guitar Ted for the opportunity to do the route for the Death Ride. This task had me obsessing over maps, driving to Iowa as much as possible and just wanting everyone to have a great time and really enjoy the beauty of Jackson County and Iowa. I am very much in debt with my lovely wife for helping out in the mapping and co-piloting as we drove endless miles of gravel and even ventured out on some of the B-roads with our trusty Forester. Thanks to everyone for their support of gravel, for coming out, for being who you are and for being so friendly. This is why I am so enamoured with the gravel scene. 
I was fortunate enough to get saturday off the restaurant. WE drove to my inlaws to drop off my younger daughter so she could spend some quality time with grandma. We then took route 30 out of IL to get towards the river. We met up with Bonk King and T.J. and settled in our rooms. It was great to hang out with those cats and catch up with what is going on in their busy lives. We met up with Mark in the parking lot and went over some details. 
Dinner was had at the Bombfire Pizza in Sabula, Iowa. We drank  some Stouts and called it a night. 
I guess I slept alright. I took a dive in the pool and loosened up some muscles in the hot tub. That felt really good. We prepped the bikes and had them ready to go. We doze off and before you know it the alarm went off. 
Everyone met at the Visitor Center and after some words by Mark and meself we were off towards the route. WE headed west on 64 and took 67 south. After a couple of miles we turned right onto 21st street. We heard the exclamations of 
approval as the group started to hit the rollers. It was a cool morning but we would be in for a long, hot day of riding in the sun. The stronger group always waited and the whole ride was going great. 
We all met up at Maquoketa and took over the Casey's. I think this was a good choice since we had food, drink, coffee and facilities we could use. We overwhelmed them a bit but the business was welcome. 
At this point the groups would split and the short route would be returning to complete the 63 mile loop. The Long route continued north taking Ansel Briggs Highway until we hit Dark Hollow road. The hills started in ernst and my singlespeed choice made me wonder. I turned a 34x18 while Dereek Von Weider turned a 39x19 and A.G. was on a Monkey with 33x18. We rocked a lot of the hills and did really well with those machines. I cannot express enough about my Selma Ti. 
The further north we went the more severe the hills got. We also encountered some surprise B roads that I had not seen on my scouting. All in all the long route encountered aprox 8 stretches of B roads. Some were tame and others were a test of strength and Balance. We hit Hilken Hill to completely kill the legs. The singlespeeders did some walking on this one. 
Once arrived in St. Donatus we settled in for a meal and ate tons of food. Back on the road again we switched the route for a better suggestion from Lance Andre. Another b road was conquered. We also stopped at a Natural Spring to cool off and get more water. I was feeling great. I kept drinking and drinking and also stetching on the stops. I wasn't very hungry but I kept drinking tons of water with Nuun. I had some slight cramping which I cure with more Nuun and a Sweet and Savory bar. 
We had another larger stop in Bellevue and then we hit the monster hills on 407th ave. We arrived in Green Island and detoured since it was getting dark. Craig Irving and his pal road part of that route and came in after we did. It had gotten really dark. We finished the Death Ride at 9:20 P.M. with 138 miles, Av of 11.6 mph and my max was 44 mph. 
Dereek Von Weider and I washed up with a hose, grabbed some Subway and headed home. I was really tired at this point and had a real hard time keeping it straight. Dereek slept like a baby and occasionally asked if I was alright. 
I cannot express enough what a great day it was on the bike. Thank you to everyone that made the trip out to Sabula and made the ride so special. Thanks to Lance Andre for  making those subtle changes to the route. Thanks to Chris Paulsen for the help on the route. And again thanks to Guitar Ted for letting me help with the routing. It was a pleasure and honor to do it. 
Best, 
Ari 
Slender Fungus Cycling Association. 

The Bonk King says that when he crosses the river his blood pressure drops dramatically. I agree

My loyal Slender Fungus members. 

They make a nice Stout

My boys were amazed at the magazine collection. 

TJ got into a fight and beat up a bunch of Harley guys. He then took their motorcycles. 

The wife's Bleriot with 650b x 2" tires. It rides like butter. 

Tj's All City Space Whore. Rocking the Schwalbe Hurricanes. 

My beloved Selma Ti with Ghetto Tubeless. All day comfort. 

Now that Guitar Ted addressed the Crowds at this location it has become the Slender Fungus's Shrine. From now until eternity this location will become holy to us. 

The group getting last minute instructions. 

My good friend Ricardo made the trek along with Snake to ride Iowa Gravel. 

This man gets the smile award. He rode strong, was always friendly to others and climbed like Pantani.

An honor to ride with Lance and Tracy Andre. 

The wife rode strong and had a blast. 

The amazing roads of Iowa. What a beautiful State. 

The groups always reunited at key intersections. 

Much food was consumed in St Donatus. 

Great group shot at the spring. Craig Irving decided to get naked and go swimming. 

I rode this road with Jakey La Cruz and shot some nice photos. Rapha you are so jeaulous. 

407 av heading south. I was to walk this beast while Dereek Von Weider would climb it singlespeed like a goat. 

Ricardo , Snake and A.G.

My trusty Slender Fungus buddy Gumby rocking his new Fargo. 

Dereek von Weider wanting more Iowa miles. """ I don't want this to end, he cried"""

It was getting dark around 9 pm. 

The rest of the photos I will upload ot Flickr and add the link below here.